My Bucket List

I had listed the item below as my bucket list on my journey to find the meaning of life...

1. Appreciate life. Help other. Please join Facebook group 1Month 1Charity Group. Blog is here 1Month 1Charity Blog
   
2. Seek for God coz he never give up on me, why I give up on him?
   
3. ...(to be added)
   

20/Jan/2010 - 6th & 7th week radiotherapy - The Finale

Finally today is my last day of radiotherapy. I m really tired and exhausted. My treatment had become my treatment. I have not eat proper meal for 5 days due to my ulcer. I m extremely hungry, I even dreaming of eating today! These 5 days my mom blend all my food into juices, since I cannot chew.

How do I feel now? I m really tired. The feel is like I just finished 6 month marathon, I reach the end point on time, without any delay, and waiting for them (doc) to announce if I m qualify or not. Doc will only inform me my progress 6 week later from now. Yeah I will be a free man for 6 week.

Like every reality show, after the finale episode, there will be an interview session with the candidate, I m going to do it later.

a poem for this

10/Jan/2010 - 4th & 5th week radiotherapy

My body manage to cope with chemo treatment very well, less side effect. But this radiotherapy really test me to the MAX. I m not in good condition now. Below is the side effect from my radiotherapy:

1. My mouth ulcer from 2nd week is still here. It give me a painful meal each day. And I have problem talking too
   
2. Headache. On and off will have mild headache. There are 3 times where I have a really terrible headache right after the radiotherapy
   
3. My neck got burned really badly, the skin turn into gray colour and peeled off
   
4. Dry mouth, if I talk my mouth become dry even faster
   

I don't know why I am so vulnerable to radiotherapy. Normally the patient ulcer will start on 3rd week, mine started on 1st week (gosh, there are still 7 weeks to go!). There is a few times where I really broke down. Thinking back what doc say, he is right. There are too many stress to handle. That why he strongly advise to quit my job

1. Chemo stress - Not apply for me, but other will vomit and lose weight
   
2. Radiotherapy stress - create a lot of uncomfortable side effect
   
3. Work stress - Been working like mad since mid of Nov till now.
   
4. Traveling stress - travel between hospital and office, jam and tiring.
   

But I m very close to the end of the treatment (expected end of Jan 2010). I can't quit now, because I have gone too far - no turning back for me. Just hope the time will move very very very fast (REALLY!!!)

And not to forget, any patient out there, please resign and focus on your treatment. Its not easy (SERIOUSLY) to work and taking treatment at the same time. Like what my friend used to say to me,

Your persistent might help to win the battle, but you to lost your kingdom (life)

I wrote this all to prove that doctor is always right, better listen to them. Do I regret to continue working? I will say no because if I never try I never know.

And again for other patient who is reading this now, please quit your job and focus on the treatment first.