Well from the movie, bucket list is something that you want to do before they die.
One fine day, I m thinking... how much do I know myself. I asked a few friend about myself. To my surprised they give me a comment that I heard so many times, yet I never pay attention to it. Since I will be reborn with a new body (after this treatment), I gonna heading to a brand new life, why not change my attitude too
So my bucket list will be top 10 bad things that I will change. My friend please give me input to make me a better person, from Mr Perfectionist to Mr Almost Perfect (yeah nobody is perfect)
I will compile it, take 10 comments and put to my next posting- The Bucket List
Monday, December 21, 2009
18/Dec/2009 - 2nd & 3rd week radiotherapy
Kindda tiring, coz I need to travel to hospital and office everyday. The treatment is only 10 minutes.
Side effect from the treatment
1) Mouth become very dry - I drink 1.8 liter of water everyday
2) Sore throat - lazy to talk, coz it will get my mouth dry even faster
3) Mouth ulcer - ouch can't eat for a week. I swallow my food with plain water (Cobra if you r reading this, I bet u laugh out loud, finally I become a REAL python)
4) Body get hot or cold easily
The flu and swollen lump is gone after 2nd week of radiotherapy. Doc say its normal symptom. Lump got swollen coz cancer cell all gather there (guess they try to run away from the radiowave)
I spend my weekend sleeping. I feel like the sleep never enough, I never miss weekend so much. Am I really that tired or I just lazy...
Side effect from the treatment
1) Mouth become very dry - I drink 1.8 liter of water everyday
2) Sore throat - lazy to talk, coz it will get my mouth dry even faster
3) Mouth ulcer - ouch can't eat for a week. I swallow my food with plain water (Cobra if you r reading this, I bet u laugh out loud, finally I become a REAL python)
4) Body get hot or cold easily
The flu and swollen lump is gone after 2nd week of radiotherapy. Doc say its normal symptom. Lump got swollen coz cancer cell all gather there (guess they try to run away from the radiowave)
I spend my weekend sleeping. I feel like the sleep never enough, I never miss weekend so much. Am I really that tired or I just lazy...
Saturday, December 5, 2009
30/Nov/2009 - 1st Radiotherapy
Radiotherapy in chinese words means "electric treatment". I never seen any before, so I just imagine from what other patient told me. I guess there will be 2 wire to be place on my neck, and electricity will be pass by my body... that is what I can imagine - extreme huh
The real Radiotherapy, is something like a CTScan machine, where you will lay down and the machine will move to laser come certain part. They created a mask for me, to lock down my head - to prevent my head from moving while they doing the treatment
My first week of radiotherapy session, was very tiring. This is the first time I take a nap after lunch. My last lunch nap is 10 years ago.
During chemo session, my flu stopped and the lump on my neck is decreasing
When this radiotherapy session start, my flu coming back, and the lump size increased, and I can feel some pain when I touch the lump.
My head is hot, while my body is cold
Next week will see doc and will let him know.
How do I feel?? I really dunno, I don't dare to think, I don't dare to expect
The real Radiotherapy, is something like a CTScan machine, where you will lay down and the machine will move to laser come certain part. They created a mask for me, to lock down my head - to prevent my head from moving while they doing the treatment
My first week of radiotherapy session, was very tiring. This is the first time I take a nap after lunch. My last lunch nap is 10 years ago.
During chemo session, my flu stopped and the lump on my neck is decreasing
When this radiotherapy session start, my flu coming back, and the lump size increased, and I can feel some pain when I touch the lump.
My head is hot, while my body is cold
Next week will see doc and will let him know.
How do I feel?? I really dunno, I don't dare to think, I don't dare to expect
Friday, November 27, 2009
29/Nov/2009 - Days after 6th chemo - the Finale
On my 3rd chemo I have some banana after breakfast. And I don't feel so tired after
On my 4th and 5th chemo, it is really torturing
On my 6th chemo, I take some banana after breakfast. Surprisingly I don't feel so tired like 4th and 5th chemo.
26/Nov - Feel extremely ok
27-29/Nov - Feel tired, sleeping most of the time
30/Nov - My first radiotherapy session
To my shock, I heard a more and more story on nose cancer patient who die during chemo process. I always thought nose cancer can be "easily" cured.
On my 4th and 5th chemo, it is really torturing
On my 6th chemo, I take some banana after breakfast. Surprisingly I don't feel so tired like 4th and 5th chemo.
26/Nov - Feel extremely ok
27-29/Nov - Feel tired, sleeping most of the time
30/Nov - My first radiotherapy session
To my shock, I heard a more and more story on nose cancer patient who die during chemo process. I always thought nose cancer can be "easily" cured.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
16/Nov/2009 - Confession of pains
A friend told me, she feel much better after she read my blog, at least I m still writing. But she told me I only wrote those good things here. I admit.
I might had mislead people that cancer fighting is easy? Illness fighting will never be easy.
Pain #01- Chemo session is a bit painful on the skin when the chemo going into the veins. Just a bit pain
Pain #02- After few chemo session, I cannot feel my finger anymore. It feel so numb
Pain #03- I m taking Dexalone steroid. It caused rashes and pimple all over the face and body, and now with pus inside the pimple, ouch...
Pain #04- From 3rd Chemo, I feel pain on my left chest (which I think its more to heart pain). The pain is gone now
Pain #05- Pain over the knee as Dexalone consume a lot of calcium from the bone.
Pain #06- After chemo, pain on the back bone (vertebrate), and my femur bone
Pain #07- Ear pain, nag nag & nag from Mom and other people
I always take nose cancer lightly, until recently I heard from friend and other patient, some nose cancer patient cannot make it thru. They pass away after few chemo treatment. I feel lucky and blessed that I m still blogging here.
I had finished my 6th cehmo (hopefully the last chemo session for me). Next week I m going to have my first radiotherapy session.
I might had mislead people that cancer fighting is easy? Illness fighting will never be easy.
Pain #01- Chemo session is a bit painful on the skin when the chemo going into the veins. Just a bit pain
Pain #02- After few chemo session, I cannot feel my finger anymore. It feel so numb
Pain #03- I m taking Dexalone steroid. It caused rashes and pimple all over the face and body, and now with pus inside the pimple, ouch...
Pain #04- From 3rd Chemo, I feel pain on my left chest (which I think its more to heart pain). The pain is gone now
Pain #05- Pain over the knee as Dexalone consume a lot of calcium from the bone.
Pain #06- After chemo, pain on the back bone (vertebrate), and my femur bone
Pain #07- Ear pain, nag nag & nag from Mom and other people
I always take nose cancer lightly, until recently I heard from friend and other patient, some nose cancer patient cannot make it thru. They pass away after few chemo treatment. I feel lucky and blessed that I m still blogging here.
I had finished my 6th cehmo (hopefully the last chemo session for me). Next week I m going to have my first radiotherapy session.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
15/Nov/2009 - Days after 5th chemo - ZZ..zz....
On the night before 5th chemo, I did tell some friends that I m worries, feeling uneasy, but don't know what is the reason...
5/Nov-Chemo day, receive a few sms from IBM ex-colleague
6/Nov-12/Nov - Seem like sleep never been enough for me, I been sleeping since the chemo day. Sleep @ 10pm or 11pm. Body is weak, mind is weak, almost breakdown. Everyday spend my time playing monopoly against pc
I asked the doc what is the possibilities of me to redo chemo again after radiotherapy. He cannot give me any answer yet as it is still early. I feel like been running on a marathon, and almost near to the finishing line... suddenly they told me oops you need to run another round. As you know when approaching to the end, the body and spirit is tired and weak, and if I will need to run another round... I think I just have to give up.
Like what the doc say, dun think so much, lets play by the ear...
5/Nov-Chemo day, receive a few sms from IBM ex-colleague
6/Nov-12/Nov - Seem like sleep never been enough for me, I been sleeping since the chemo day. Sleep @ 10pm or 11pm. Body is weak, mind is weak, almost breakdown. Everyday spend my time playing monopoly against pc
I asked the doc what is the possibilities of me to redo chemo again after radiotherapy. He cannot give me any answer yet as it is still early. I feel like been running on a marathon, and almost near to the finishing line... suddenly they told me oops you need to run another round. As you know when approaching to the end, the body and spirit is tired and weak, and if I will need to run another round... I think I just have to give up.
Like what the doc say, dun think so much, lets play by the ear...
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
01/Nov/2009 - Hospitalized
I can't recall when this happen. I remember it was a hot day. I was waiting for train at KTM station, and I pass out. When I wake up, I already in operation theater. I saw some doctor and nurses, then I pass out again. When I wake up again, I was in a smokey place, there is an old man. He greeted me "Hello young man, how r u doing?". I reply "I m doing good here as always, thanks". He asked "Do you know where are u?". I reply "Some hospital?". "No..." he reply. "You are in heaven now, u are dead". I m thinking this old man must be fu*kin kidding with me. Old man say "No, I m not kidding, its real". Gosh he can read my mind? Who is him? He reply "I m the God". I m speechless.
I m too young to die and have too any thing that I haven't do yet. Only if I got ore time... Th God reply, "I'll give you a 2nd chance to go back and finished what you wanted to do under 2 condition"
1) You only have 24 hours
2) You cannot appear as your self, as everyone know u r dead. U will appear as a hen.
Well that is the only chances for me to go back to earth, I have to agree... KAZOOOM....
I open my eyes, I m in a chicken hut now, many hen here and there is a cock. The cock come and talk o me, "I never seen u before, u must be new here. Let me explain u the rules here. U must lay 3 eggs everyday before u can walk out from this hut". Holly shit... how can I do that? I told my breath and start to push hard.... pop, 1 eggs come out. Phew then I try push hard again, pop another eggs come out.
Suddenly someone hit my head so hard, I open my eyes. I saw my mom. I was so happy. My mom yell at me "What! You think its funny to shit on ur bed at 32 yrs old!!!!"
This blog been so dull and boring, let me spice up your day with my story
When I started this blog, 90% of my friend thought I m joking, now you know why.
I m just too naughty. Happy Halloween...
I m too young to die and have too any thing that I haven't do yet. Only if I got ore time... Th God reply, "I'll give you a 2nd chance to go back and finished what you wanted to do under 2 condition"
1) You only have 24 hours
2) You cannot appear as your self, as everyone know u r dead. U will appear as a hen.
Well that is the only chances for me to go back to earth, I have to agree... KAZOOOM....
I open my eyes, I m in a chicken hut now, many hen here and there is a cock. The cock come and talk o me, "I never seen u before, u must be new here. Let me explain u the rules here. U must lay 3 eggs everyday before u can walk out from this hut". Holly shit... how can I do that? I told my breath and start to push hard.... pop, 1 eggs come out. Phew then I try push hard again, pop another eggs come out.
Suddenly someone hit my head so hard, I open my eyes. I saw my mom. I was so happy. My mom yell at me "What! You think its funny to shit on ur bed at 32 yrs old!!!!"
This blog been so dull and boring, let me spice up your day with my story
When I started this blog, 90% of my friend thought I m joking, now you know why.
I m just too naughty. Happy Halloween...
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