04/Feb/2010 - Guide for New Cancer Patient

First of all be calm & relax. Welcome to the cancer society. Trust me cancer is not as terrible as what you think.

Here is a few tips that might be useful for you

1. Don't delay - small fire can be pull off easily. Bigger fire need more water and time to pull it off (means longer time and more money). And when fire turn into big flame, it will destroy everything (including life). Cancer won't heal by itself, it will only spread more if you wait longer.
   
2. I had mentioned before, when "caring friend" know you are sick, they tend to approach you to sell something. But if it make your condition worsen, those "caring friend" will not be beside you. Its your doctor who always beside you when you are sick
   
3. I started my treatment immediately. It take 6 month and cost RM20k. I had another mate, who is a survivor, but he wasted a lot of time and money (1 yr and spend almost $100k). Btw if you are young, you can do chemo and radio therapy together, only 7 week (and it is a really tough week)
   
4. During chemo, eat sufficient of meat to recover back loss cell. But don't over eat because you will be fat after that.
   
5. Radiotherapy is really a hard session, some patient stop for a period of time, which is not good, because cancer cell might grow back while you are resting. It is advisable to continuously blast them, so they have lesser chance to survive. I know it is hard in this stage, as I almost give up...
   
6. Socialize, having cancer don't mean you are isolated from the world. Talk to people and it will help to reduce the stress during treatment. And believe me, normal people like to listen to cancer story over and over and over and ... Everyday I chat with my friend online, telling them all the pains... and I feel much better after that
   
7. If can quit working, and fully focus on treatment. I had my painful lesson for my stubbornness (yeah doctor repeatedly ask me to quit my job)
   
8. ... (to be added)
   

My Bucket List

I had listed the item below as my bucket list on my journey to find the meaning of life...

1. Appreciate life. Help other. Please join Facebook group 1Month 1Charity Group. Blog is here 1Month 1Charity Blog
   
2. Seek for God coz he never give up on me, why I give up on him?
   
3. ...(to be added)
   

20/Jan/2010 - 6th & 7th week radiotherapy - The Finale

Finally today is my last day of radiotherapy. I m really tired and exhausted. My treatment had become my treatment. I have not eat proper meal for 5 days due to my ulcer. I m extremely hungry, I even dreaming of eating today! These 5 days my mom blend all my food into juices, since I cannot chew.

How do I feel now? I m really tired. The feel is like I just finished 6 month marathon, I reach the end point on time, without any delay, and waiting for them (doc) to announce if I m qualify or not. Doc will only inform me my progress 6 week later from now. Yeah I will be a free man for 6 week.

Like every reality show, after the finale episode, there will be an interview session with the candidate, I m going to do it later.

a poem for this

10/Jan/2010 - 4th & 5th week radiotherapy

My body manage to cope with chemo treatment very well, less side effect. But this radiotherapy really test me to the MAX. I m not in good condition now. Below is the side effect from my radiotherapy:

1. My mouth ulcer from 2nd week is still here. It give me a painful meal each day. And I have problem talking too
   
2. Headache. On and off will have mild headache. There are 3 times where I have a really terrible headache right after the radiotherapy
   
3. My neck got burned really badly, the skin turn into gray colour and peeled off
   
4. Dry mouth, if I talk my mouth become dry even faster
   

I don't know why I am so vulnerable to radiotherapy. Normally the patient ulcer will start on 3rd week, mine started on 1st week (gosh, there are still 7 weeks to go!). There is a few times where I really broke down. Thinking back what doc say, he is right. There are too many stress to handle. That why he strongly advise to quit my job

1. Chemo stress - Not apply for me, but other will vomit and lose weight
   
2. Radiotherapy stress - create a lot of uncomfortable side effect
   
3. Work stress - Been working like mad since mid of Nov till now.
   
4. Traveling stress - travel between hospital and office, jam and tiring.
   

But I m very close to the end of the treatment (expected end of Jan 2010). I can't quit now, because I have gone too far - no turning back for me. Just hope the time will move very very very fast (REALLY!!!)

And not to forget, any patient out there, please resign and focus on your treatment. Its not easy (SERIOUSLY) to work and taking treatment at the same time. Like what my friend used to say to me,

Your persistent might help to win the battle, but you to lost your kingdom (life)

I wrote this all to prove that doctor is always right, better listen to them. Do I regret to continue working? I will say no because if I never try I never know.

And again for other patient who is reading this now, please quit your job and focus on the treatment first.

21/Dec/2009 - Preparing my bucket list

Well from the movie, bucket list is something that you want to do before they die.

One fine day, I m thinking... how much do I know myself. I asked a few friend about myself. To my surprised they give me a comment that I heard so many times, yet I never pay attention to it. Since I will be reborn with a new body (after this treatment), I gonna heading to a brand new life, why not change my attitude too

So my bucket list will be top 10 bad things that I will change. My friend please give me input to make me a better person, from Mr Perfectionist to Mr Almost Perfect (yeah nobody is perfect)

I will compile it, take 10 comments and put to my next posting- The Bucket List

18/Dec/2009 - 2nd & 3rd week radiotherapy

Kindda tiring, coz I need to travel to hospital and office everyday. The treatment is only 10 minutes.

Side effect from the treatment
1) Mouth become very dry - I drink 1.8 liter of water everyday
2) Sore throat - lazy to talk, coz it will get my mouth dry even faster
3) Mouth ulcer - ouch can't eat for a week. I swallow my food with plain water (Cobra if you r reading this, I bet u laugh out loud, finally I become a REAL python)
4) Body get hot or cold easily

The flu and swollen lump is gone after 2nd week of radiotherapy. Doc say its normal symptom. Lump got swollen coz cancer cell all gather there (guess they try to run away from the radiowave)

I spend my weekend sleeping. I feel like the sleep never enough, I never miss weekend so much. Am I really that tired or I just lazy...

30/Nov/2009 - 1st Radiotherapy

Radiotherapy in chinese words means "electric treatment". I never seen any before, so I just imagine from what other patient told me. I guess there will be 2 wire to be place on my neck, and electricity will be pass by my body... that is what I can imagine - extreme huh

The real Radiotherapy, is something like a CTScan machine, where you will lay down and the machine will move to laser come certain part. They created a mask for me, to lock down my head - to prevent my head from moving while they doing the treatment

My first week of radiotherapy session, was very tiring. This is the first time I take a nap after lunch. My last lunch nap is 10 years ago.

During chemo session, my flu stopped and the lump on my neck is decreasing
When this radiotherapy session start, my flu coming back, and the lump size increased, and I can feel some pain when I touch the lump.
My head is hot, while my body is cold

Next week will see doc and will let him know.
How do I feel?? I really dunno, I don't dare to think, I don't dare to expect