10/Sep/2009 - A Blessing in Disguise

Well, I just taken my 2nd chemo last Thu, and I still not really fully recovered yet, due to my little experiment of starving the cancer.

While walking back from the train station, I notice that 1 of my car tire and its rim is stolen. Gosh! I m dead tired and now... I have think of 3 options

1) There is a same car nearby. People steal from me, I steal from other people (this is a BAD thought, never try this EVER!!)
2) Call my mechanic ask for help
3) Call my dad, leave the car there.

In less than 30 seconds, I make up my mind. I m weak (mentally and physically), I m using cancer and chemo as excuse for me NOT to replace it with spare tire.

I roll up my sleeve, and start to jack the car bit by bit. Chemo make my knee really weak, I need to stand up again and again for a relief. Jack the car slowly like tortoise, bit by bit really slow.

Soon the jacking is done, and I replace the tire and release the jack.

At first it is really torturing, but as when I keep on jacking and jacking I have forgotten the pain and tiredness (yeah having fun jacking here). First step is always the hardest, but when you keep on moving and forget the pains, you will find some joy along the way.

I m happy today, a thief had taught me a most valuable lesson in my life. don't let cancer be excuse for me for NOT doing anything. Same to you out there, when you have problem, solve it slowly, soon you will find the solution (joy).

Chris Gardner (or Will Smith) used to say this before:

Christopher Gardner: Hey. Don't ever let somebody tell you... You can't do something. Not even me. All right?
Christopher: All right.
Christopher Gardner: You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period.

Finally.. God please bless the thief, thing happen for a reason. I hope he don't spend the money on drug for stealing from a cancer patient.

04/Sep/2009 - Days after my 2nd chemo

When I see my doc for my 2nd chemo, he asked how am I doing. I told him I m good, very good, as I don't feel so tired and have a good appetite. Doc say it is because of the steroid he given to me (Dexalone). 2 tablets for 3 times a day - it can make u feel like superman! Gosh.. my confidence got shaken instantly.. I feel energetic because of the steroid?? Doc asked me to cut down to 1 tablet for 3 times a day. I feel the impact on my body.

Btw after the doc do some basic checkup on me, he say my condition is good, and this is the first time I see smile on his face.

Yesterday after my 2nd chemo, my mom boiled the lotus root soup again
I have 2 piece of big pork lunch and another 2 piece of pork for dinner

My "experiment" seem working, as I don't feel so tired today.

03/Sep- Don't feel tired. Have 2 piece of big pork lunch and another 2 piece of pork for dinner
04/Sep- Try to cut down meat consumption. Have 1 piece of big pork lunch and another 1 piece of pork for dinner
05/Sep- Try on new experiment. Little bit of pork for lunch. My body was shaking whole day long. I sleep 3 times during day time, really exhausted. I consume back 2 pieces meat for my dinner
06/Sep- My last day to restore all my energy before start to work tomorrow.
07/Sep- I started to reduce my meat consumption from today onward. I took little bit of chili padi during lunch. Nose bleeding a bit at 4pm
08/Sep- I took little bit curry during lunch. Nose full of mucus
09/Sep- Take normal lunch, no more chili or curry. Nose still full of mucus
10/Sep- Take normal lunch, no more chili or curry. Nose bleed a bit.

What am I doin here, having so much fun with cancer...
Actually I wanna know what diet does the cancer like, what what it doesn't
When my nose full of mucus, this mean cancer is hungry, it attack my sinus to create mucus (food for cancer). As when I start to starve myself with lesser meat, I lost energy, cancer also lost energy and started to have a lot of mucus. So I will just have to clear off the mucus regularly.

Know your enemy well, to win the battle. I m starving together with my cancer now, good time for Chemo to do their job. Hope I don't get into wrong strategy and get myself killed! I will keep on doing experiment on myself. Its fun to fool around with my cancer.

02/Sep/2009 - The day being Bald, Bold and Stupid!

Well after being bald since 27/Aug/2009, I still shamelessly (well nothing to be shame of) go out to meet my friends

28/Aug/2009 (Fri) - Went to Genting Casino for the first time in my life
29/Aug/2009 (Sat) - Meeting friend for afternoon session and night session
30/Aug/2009 (Sun) - Meeting friend for morning session
31/Aug/2009 (Mon) - Meeting friend for night session

I m flat and exhausted... I just realized that its stupid to rush and meet so many people before my 2nd chemo. I used a wrong strategy in this battle, because I m too over confident in this (someone slap me please!!!). I promised myself I will play this cancer games right and smart, as my life is my bet.

Now I m worried if I m in good condition for tomorrow chemo
Just finished watching "The bucket list", now planning for my own Bucket List

Good stuff I learned from The Bucket List
1) Have you found joy in your life?
- Nope, I always tend to find more & more joy. Joy never be enough
2) Has your life brought joy to others?
- Yeah, ask my friends :-)

25/Aug/2009 - The cheque

Last week 19/Aug/2009 I have a dinner with my ex-colleague from IBM. To my surprised, they had secretly collected some money to help out my cancer treatment.

I been staring the cheque since 19/Aug/2009 till 24/Aug/2009 (yesterday). I take a picture of it and finally bank it in tonight.

Why I do I stare at the cheque every night? The reason is simple, I got more satisfactory looking at the collection of kindness and blessing I got from my ex-colleague, even some of them even not close to me.

24/Aug/2009 - Hair is falling

Today when I comb my hair, I notice quite a lot of hair started to fall. Instead of waiting it to fall on my floor, I decided to go barber shop and cut it really short.

25/Aug/2009 - more hair fall
26/Aug/2009 - more and more hair fall
I estimated by 29/Aug/2009, I will be completely bald
27/Aug/2009 - finally I get rid of my hair falling problem. Just shave it.

How do I feel?
(my reply before shaving my head)
Hmm, no idea because I never take that as my main priority, as long as I don't need to sweep all my falling hair, well I left most of it (90%) at the barber shop.

(my reply after shaving my head)
First time when I feel my bald head, it make me feel like touching a new born baby head, so soft. Ok friends, feel free to touch my head and get the feel, first time its free, sub-sequence it will cost you a meal :P

My priority is only my protein and calcium level, be prepare for my upcoming 2nd chemo session

18/Aug/2009 - Doc is your best friend

A lot of people try to make fortune from cancer patient by selling them a lot of expensive alternative medication. 12 years ago my mom was a cancer patient. And she tried a lot of those alternative craps (medication).

Today I myself as a cancer patient, I started to look at it differently. Those people try to make money from your hopeless cancer. No doubt the medicine might work on someone, but that doesn't means it suitable for every cancer patient. Who gonna bear the responsibility if something bad happen?

I trust my doctor, and I only will take all prescription by him, because he told me before as long as I listen to him, I can be cured. And he is a certified doctor who study hard to earn the title, not like those salesman outside, making money from the hopeless cancer patient.

So my cancer comrade, please reconsider if you are thinking for alternative medication, remember those who sell it to you, will not be there when u REALLY need them, but the doctor is the one who will beside you when u REALLY need one.

14/Aug/2009 - Days after 1st Chemo

When my friend ask how am I doing, I only reply
"I m good, everyday is getting better".

This is how I mean by that

Mon - Chemo session, don't really feel anything
Tue - Extremely tired, almost want to apply MC, but still goto work
Wed - Still tired
Thu - Just tired
Fri - I m back alive!!!

Now the secret behind. My mom boiled Lotus Root soup with 3 BIG pieces of non-fat pork. I ate everything clean on Thu night, tada when I woke up on Fri I feel just like normal, no more tired

Now I understand what my doctor mean by take a lot (REALLY a lot) of high protein food for fast recovery.

I will try the same diet on 02/Sep night (my 2nd chemo), and I will become the test subject now.